This mess might make more sense if you read from the first post onward. But then again, maybe it won't. ^_^; Things that make sense in my head don't always work as well once they're typed up.
And don’t get me wrong, for all my whining about doubts and struggles, I’m generally fairly content. I have issues with depression once in a while, but it’s mild and usually just a sign that I need more sleep or I need to stop worrying about something. I tend to escape into stories (movies, TV, books, you name it) until I feel better and it’s easy to face the world again.
I like life. I love creation and worship and being surrounded by people I care about. I try to believe the best of people, to see both sides of every story. I don’t always manage it but I try. I’m an optimist at heart, though I try to be realistic about things as well. I’m easily amused and I usually find that if I smile even when I’m down, I start to mean it.
Life is confusing and surprising, terrible and magnificent. There's good and bad in everything, hope and fear, faith and doubt in every life. Maybe that's just how it is. Maybe we're supposed to spend our journey searching. And maybe it’s okay to believe even when there’s questions and doubt and uncertainty. For all my struggles with faith, I still believe someone’s listening when I pray.
Because when it comes right down to it, at the end of the day… I’d rather live with hope.
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