For all my struggles...

               For all my struggles with doubt and complacency, with my tendency to entertain worst-case scenarios and my need to ask “what-if”, I really do love my God

               And I love my church for reminding me why.

               God has always looked out for me.  When I need Him most He’s there.  When my mother died He brought me comfort, good friends, loving family, and the reassurance that I’d see her again.  When I was scared of nightmares, He took them away.  When I was terrified of change, He gave me calm.  When I don’t know where I’m going to live or where to find a job or what the next year is going to hold, He reminds me that he has always looked out for me.

               And it’s not just the big things; finding the right place to live or a much-needed roommate or keeping a close call on an icy road from becoming a life-threatening accident.  It’s the little things too that remind me how He loves me; the perfect song on the radio or in church just when I need to hear it most, the sun peeking from behind the clouds to take my breath away, a glimpse of wildlife or flowers just when I need something to smile about.

               There is such joy in worship.  In faith there is hope and purpose and life.  There is FREEDOM in surrender.  There is safety in belief.

               The only time I truly feel whole is when I’m worshiping, whether it’s with song or prayer or with my life.  I feel whole and certain and at home.

“You stood before creation.
Eternity within Your hand.
You spoke the earth into motion.
My soul now to stand.

You stood before my failure,
Carried the Cross for my shame.
My sin weighed upon Your shoulders.
My soul now to stand.

So what can I say.
What can I do.
But offer this heart O God,
Completely to You.

So I'll walk upon salvation.
Your Spirit alive in me.
This life to declare Your promise.
My soul now to stand.

So what can I say.
What can I do.
But offer this heart O God,
Completely to You.

So I'll stand,
With arms high and heart abandoned,
In awe of the One who gave it all.

So I'll stand.
My soul Lord to You surrendered.
All I am is Yours.”

“The Stand” by Hillsong